Shesh in the Desh

My contract with VSO was for a year, and today I will leave Bangladesh and return to England, bringing this time to a close. And almost certainly this blog, bar a possible epilogue from London. How to surmise a year? I haven’t found religion or myself, but I haven’t really looked. What’s so distracting is Bangladesh; it throws up surprises in every corner and I can’t help but be transfixed by it.

I’ve seen things here that you would never see in the ‘West’, not because people are necessarily so poor or the country so incredible, but because Bangladesh really is like the unsynthesised manifold of human life. Here, I find one can see things in a way that you wouldn’t be able to in Europe, that both the presentation and the perception holds an almost absurd blinding clarity. Bangladesh is what happens if you cram far too many people in to a ridiculous part of the world, prone to flooding, earthquakes and with terrible weather, and don’t provide any kind of adequate infrastructure or governance to accommodate them. In the slums the density is around 200,000 people per square kilometre. There are pockets of shiny Western ‘modernity’ and convenience, but large areas that resemble a Dickensian candlelit world of stories amidst shadows, as if you might concentrate a whole soap-opera in to one little shack.

I feel like our lives in the West now are so packaged and buffed, protected; everything conforms to a health and safety standard, operates in a more or less uniform manner; high streets are dominated by the same shops which look the same, everything is tucked away behind plate glass and packaging and lit properly and cooled artificially, we define ourselves through numerous codes and identifications, online profiles, we communicate through browser windows and other plastic boxes, so all our life is seen through various physical or mental artificial barriers. That’s not necessarily a bad thing; I appreciate and value the benefits. But take all of that away, and you get Bangladesh.

Your phone breaks? In England I would register online, send it off in a special package, fill in a numerous forms and ‘track’ the status and wait weeks. Here I can just get some kid in a shack to take it to pieces and fix it in five minutes with his little fingers, who can’t read or write but has taught himself Nokia. You want to buy some meat? You can either order it online, or go to a big supermarket and have something that’s been flown maybe 10,000 miles and slaughtered, cut, packaged, processed, cooled, weighed and labelled by a machine, scanned by a machine, and then paid for through machines. Or you can go to the butchers where carcasses hang outside in the hot sun like washing lines of flesh, and either get a cut off that or point to an animal tied up outside and have that slaughtered for you there and then. There’s no middleman between life and reality.

I think Bangladesh is like life behind the scenes, if you take away all the regulations and codes of practice and charters and just let the world get on with it. You don’t actually need to wear anything more than a loin-cloth to operate heavy machinery. You don’t actually need traffic lights. It helps, but you can manage without it. All our ‘mod cons’ and advancements, to paraphrase Milligan don’t really bring happiness, just a far more pleasant form of misery. Whereas Western living is so controlled and managed, synthesised through numerous cultural/physical/psychological boundaries, life in Bangladesh is glaring out at the world in High Fidelity, High Definition, and I’ll really, really miss that. It doesn’t make things easy, but it’s raw. What happens just depends how you prepare it.

It has occurred to me now that although I have dreamt many times of going back to England, the actual process and events of arriving home and seeing friends and family again, I’ve never imagined the process of leaving Bangladesh; the concept that to arrive in England means I have to depart from Bangladesh didn’t combine for me. Going back to my home didn’t involve leaving my other. For this place has been my home, and despite the lack of organised events, it’s the cacophonic chaos of disorganised, spontaneous life here that makes Bangladesh the most exciting place I’ve ever lived in. I shall certainly return.

What I will return to though, is hard to predict. When I arrived last September 2006 Bangladesh had an elected government. This government stood down, constitutionally, and since then the country has politically been dissolved and diluted in to a collection of squabbling factions in suits and in uniform, whilst millions continue to suffer in lunghis. Two weeks ago whilst I was on holiday there were mass protests against the military-backed civilian regime for the first time, as the idea of suffering in silence becomes increasingly impossible. The problem for the protesters though is that the current military-backed regime is the best currently available; Bangladesh is already at the door of the last chance saloon, peering in to a murky abyss of either martial law/fully-fledged military rule on one side or a vicious, elitist self-obsessed ‘political’ old guard who surely would take every step to gain revenge on those who’ve humiliated them and grasp power this time even more tightly than before. They have to step away from that. I think Bangladesh has been a dramatic lesson for any onlooker in what can happen when power is dissolved in an atmosphere devoid of moral authority.

Elections are promised before the end of 2008, but what the people will have to elect, and what they will be electing for is extremely unclear. Democracy is far more than divesting one’s political will every 4 or 5 years, and until Bangladesh can reform it’s institutions to accommodate this fact, the farce of ‘democracy’ in certain countries, preponderantly in the developing world will continue. It’s interesting to me how the words ‘democracy’ and ‘corruption’, with meanings that would traditionally oppose each other have in Bangladesh come to equate to the same thing. This pollution of concepts and ideas by human greed and malice, at the expense of tens of millions of people is overall the saddest aspect of my year here.

But whether there is a free and fair election in 2008 or not, Bangladesh’s rulers will still have their work cut out to save the country from further hardships. The economy is teetering, dependent on the garment industry, remittance and international aid, none of which can be relied upon and is subject to external forces. Flooding has caused a humanitarian crisis this monsoon, and climate change will increasingly ravage Bangladesh over the next thirty years as the seas rise, the rainfall increases, and the flow from the Himalyas in to the country rises also. The country can’t generate enough electricity, or an adequate health or education system. The legal system still suffers from corruption and political bias, and the government still insists on denying fundamental human rights, including the freedoms of speech and association which are so crucial to lifting Bangladesh out and away from its problems, if that is possible. Meanwhile the government’s security forces continue to arrest and detain people with no regard to due process, and assault and even kill people with impunity.

The alternative that is increasingly presenting itself is fostered by religious extremists who are capitalising on people’s misfortune and disempowerment. This alternative must be met and countered by the Bangladeshi centre, for the presence of religious extremism and political militancy only attracts the wrong kind of world attention. Furthermore, when Bangladesh really does become fatally affected by climate change, where in the world can more than 150 million people go to? A country that was previously held up (falsely or not) as a fine example of a Muslim democracy can not be dropped, otherwise we will face a refugee crisis and these refugees will be met with suspicion rather than compassion.

I feel that Bangladesh’s internal problems today will have external implications tomorrow, and affect everyone’s problems within the next twenty years. That’s why those who can make a difference have a responsibility to act now to help others, before it becomes a question of how can we act to save ourselves. I certainly feel that this might be a place I’m leaving today, but it’s not a country you can say goodbye to.

Bangladesh in a sentence? Michael Palin in his ‘Himalaya’ book went through the country and remarked that when watching workmen, it’s impossible to tell whether they’re putting something up or breaking it down, and I think that sums up Bangladesh really well. But it’s alright. 150 million Bangladeshis just about manage, and I have too.

It doesn’t mean I’m not looking forward to coming back to London. I’ve read a lot of books here, the best being either ‘Middlemarch’ or ‘Midnight’s Children (the worst being ‘Come in Number 37’ the autobiography of mediocre 1990s footballer Rob Lee. I’m a connoisseur of footballer’s autobiographies but that was buying toilet paper with the shit already smeared on it). Yet there’s a passage in ‘The Mill on the Floss’ by George Elliot, at the very end of chapter five which is maybe my favourite bit of prose ever – Elliot writes “what novelty is worth that sweet monotony where is everything is known, and loved because it is known?

“The wood I walk in on this mild May day… – what grove of tropic palms, what strange ferns or splendid broad-petalled blossoms, could ever thrill such deep and delicate fibres within me as this home-scene? These familiar flowers, these well-remembered bird-notes, this sky, with its fitful brightness, these furrowed and grassy fields, each with a sort of personality given to it by the capricious hedgerows – such things as these are the mother tongue of our imagination, the language that is laden with all the subtle inextricable associations the fleeting hours of our childhood left behind …our delight in the sunshine on the deep-bladed grass today, might be no more than the faint perception of wearied souls, if it were not for the sunshine and the grass in the far-off years which still live in us, and transform our perception into love.”

So right now, much as it’s great to have incredible experiences, it’s going to be good to get back to that sweet monotony where the stimulus talks your language, and you’re not translating anymore.

Fast forward 146 years from Elliot and there’s a song ‘Fire of London’ by a South London based hip-hop group called ‘Why Lout?’ which basically sums up everything that I feel about my city, a place that isn’t just a large urban monster but through accident of birth is my home, and contains the mother tongue of my imagination. You can download the track here.

Another tune that has been something of a soundtrack for me in Bangladesh is ‘Factory’ by Martha Wainwright, a beautiful lilting lament that begins with the couplet “These are not my people I should never have come here”. But I’ve found as the last year has gone on that whilst I could never say that I am Bangladeshi, there’s no reason to think that different people can’t take pleasure in the same life. I’m separated either through my education, upbringing, culture, wealth, health, spiritual or temporal beliefs from the vast majority of Bangladeshis, yet there’s much less of the artificial barriers and constraints that separate people in the West. I’ve felt obviously completely distinct from Bangladeshis over the last year, but also strangely in solidarity with the country here, I think because there are so few places to hide. You get swept up and embraced whether you like it or not, but if you can manage to stop struggling, abandon your own lenses of perception and accept that those lenses are useless here – perception is irrelevant, the country has one layer, one screen that everyone is pressed against to make up the pixels of a bigger picture of Bangladesh. That envelops everybody; it’s a shared common space. It’s a very crowded space, uncomfortable at times, but its one layer.

Over the year, I’ve also learnt a bit of the Bangla language. So this, as they say in Bangladesh, is now shesh.



18 Responses to “Shesh in the Desh”

  1. 1 Pedro September 27, 2007 at 12:06 pm

    Ami deki Bangladesh shesh nai.
    It will be always with you.

    Congratulations for the blog and this marvelous ending text!

  2. 2 Huck March 31, 2008 at 3:12 am

    Great job! Loved the way you put it. I’ve lived in Dhaka for over 17yrs before moving to the states. I’ve plans to go back and join the development process of this country of hopefuls within the next 5 yrs. I would be honored if you e-mail me your advice (e.g. specific projs I might be able to start).

    Thanks for the splendid job!

  3. 3 sowula April 7, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    Hi Huck,

    You posted a message on my blog last week about any advice for working on Development projects in Bangladesh? Thanks for getting in touch.
    To be honest I’m not that knowledgeable on those kind of topics, but from personal experience/preference, I’d think about either HIV or transport as something that would be good to be involved in, or in the longer-term, anything to do with mitigating climate change is essential. You should have a look at this new website, which is an excellent source of information and a portal in to the area.

    Hope that’s helpful,


  4. 4 shahela begum July 12, 2009 at 12:43 am

    Hi, Balani LOL
    It was fantastic to read your experience in B LAND, BANGLADESH or us British Bangladeshi’s would say Back home.

  5. 5 shahela begum July 12, 2009 at 12:50 am

    It was really good to hear what you had to say. Because am Bengali I’ve been to Bangladesh twice the last time i went was in 2005 for 2 months i really enjoyed it. i stayed in the village area in the district SUNAMGANJ in Sylhet. And i thought it was fantastic my dad built a house for us to see, believe it it or not it was painted PINK. We have a big family there so we got to see everyone. I enjoyed staying in the village as it was quieter and had more land around. I went into the town sylhet for shopping but it was so congested, noisy and busy.
    But what i would like to say is am glad you put all the negative side of Bangladesh aside and saw it in a more positive side.
    I definately hope to visit Bangladesh again soon.

    • 6 Kabir Uddin September 21, 2009 at 10:09 pm

      Hi Tim,

      Thanks for sharing with us your insight into Bangladesh.

      As a British Bangladeshi who arrived in the UK at the age of four I share many of your sentiments. The rawness of life you experienced there was what shocked at first then intrigued me also. Life, emotions, joys, insecurities are indeed laid bare, stripped of any safety/comfort buffers. Especially so to one arriving from a lifestyle of western securities and ‘comforts’.

      Dark personal experiences motivated by greed contrasted against the simple natural beauty of land and every day life still roll around in my mind begging to be disected, interpreted and digested.

      I could go on but will refrain on this rare occasion. Once again, thanks for sharing with us your experiences. It has truly been a pleasure reading the experiences of a ‘white’ westerner of a country which fires such a troubled mixture of emotions within me.

  6. 7 Jill Edwards Thomas November 13, 2011 at 9:10 am

    This is a fascinating blog, my daughter is currently with VSO, in Chittagong!
    Good Luck with everything!

  7. 8 Tapash June 1, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    Dear sir,
    On behalf of Gobindaganj Dabaloy Biggan club, congratulation to you for Digital Bangladesh. This club is established in 2005. and Obtained registration in 2009, Under the ministry of science , technology and commutation Department, so this club dedicated for poor people and distributed a lot of elements to educate among illiterate people , more over our weekend magazine “Digitaler Bijoy” has published every week and created revolution o conscious the people, Digitaler Bijoy is the preface of North Bangal the frustrated and negal people can speak about their right and can establish their dream , So It can invent the talent and merits from the rural level, thus It brought revolution , more over, the Editor and the publisher of the Digitaler Bijoy, Professor Tapash Kumar Dev , Delivered his valuable speech on the importance and use of information technology in the fair of “Digitaler Udvabani mela at Gaibandha district at sadhinata pargar dated 16 and 17 February 2012. at 4 pm. thane were present some people of local District government So, kindly visit our village wise information and technology operation project , Our project expresses different opinions about hou to stop early marriage . Remove illiteracy, and establish 171 learning centre, on the other hand 51(learning centre) belongs under rose project. So if you visit our country and our institution then according to your suggestion opinion, proposal. We will continue this project, so, according to your direction Gobindaganj Dabaloy Biggan club and SBUS will help and establish the frustrated decaying people and make them very skillful worker and turned into them as an human assists of Bangladesh .thank you again for your kind consideration.

    You’re faithfully
    Professor Tapash Dev.

    Gobindagonj Debaloy Biggan Club (GDBC) is a non-government science and technology aspired organization has been working for the rural poor and disadvantaged people in Gaibandha District establishing in 2005. It obtained legal registration from the Ministry of Science, Technology and Communication of Bangladesh Government during 2009.
    Now a day’s information and communication technology itself has been playing a vital role in development. Due to globalization and the government’s special encouragement people become interested to sink with science and technology for their own development. Following the democratic government declaration GDBC welcome all type and class of people to implement the “Vision 2021” that ultimately way out the establishment of a resourceful and modern country by 2021 through effective use of information and communication technology. The Club believes modern philosophy of effective and useful use of information and technology in terms of implementing the promises in education, health, job opportunity, poverty reduction etc. Therefore, the Club has been working with people with the major objectives includes changing people’s attitude, enabling environment and technical supports, profitable and innovative ideas for creation, production, preservation as well as marketing.
    Science and technology sector within Gaibandha district are properly not in advance. People remain in ignorance and darkness from the usefulness of information and technologies. They neither know nor try to get the update what are going on. They only know to survive with the world by their hard labour. Due to inadequate literacy rate, superstition as well as religious beliefs and thoughts are the majors hinders in the way to development of science, information and technology in a whole. Women and girls in remote and tribal areas belonged fully illiterate and they are the victims of early marriage, polygamy, divorces, dowry, rapping and many other kinds of physical torture as well as domestic violence still now due to economical deprivation along with influence of religious bound and prejudice of the society more far from science, information and technology.
    Under such circumstances, Gobindagonj Debaloy Biggan Club (GDBC), a non-government science based club comes close to the poor people with particular emphasis to bring out positive changes in their life and livelihoods through utilizing IT skills, information and technology for development. GDBC realized that proper supports incorporating technical education, training, campaign, skills exchange, sharing, massive awareness and especially women empowerment are very prior to develop the situation.


    With the objective to transfer human being into human resources, SBUS has established during 1998 facing different types of ups and downs. During 2000 it has registered with the Social Welfare Department of Bangladesh government as a local voluntary development club. Gradually it has been reformed as NGO in course of time as well as in course of demand local people crossing various obstacle and social struggle. The reflection of changing as NGO during April 17, 2005 by confirming SBUS as implementation organization of Ananda School under Primary and Mass Education Ministry of Bangladesh government for the first time in Bangladesh. The first Ananda School established at Hirokpara under Gobindagonj municipality. It was disheartening to mention, due to evil conspiracy of some local NGOs, political people and officials, the school has been cancelled although Hirokpara Ananda School was legally permitted to open.
    At the next step, SBUS didn’t stop there. It has started its programs again during 2006 by establishing 03 Saisab Bikash Kendra (Early Development Center). During 2007 it established more 17 Saisab Bikash Kendra by the pressure of local elite persons and mass people. During 2008 it started survey activities for the disabled people living in Gobindagonj upazila of Gaibandha district. By the approval of Deputy Director of Social Welfare Department, Gaibandha, it established 18 SBUS Disabled School.
    But due to evil conspiracy of similar local NGOs, political people and officials, the working Deputy Director of Social Welfare Department, Gaibandha has postponed the whole programs of SBUS on 26th June 2008. Again during 2009, as a result of long investigation of the government and continuous pressure from mass people of Gobindagonj Upazila, responsible honorable Minister of Social Welfare of Bangladesh has provided the permission to start the programs accordingly. After such types of obstacle, SBUS has been working with full dedication to change the present society incorporating science, information and technology. Now it has been implementing education programs through 120 Ananda Schools and learning centers to the success of returning of school dropouts, deprived & neglected children in education to increasing literacy rate ensuring quality education where 4200 drop out student imparting education, 62 POSBP centre also on going within the working areas. This year about 55 thousands children got a total of 28 sets materials including books have been distributed among the poor children.
    The Program Report is equivalent to our Annual Report covering the period July 2009-June 2011 as we have to face some barriers to continue our programs. This is the first time we are going to publish our Program Reports which certainly have some mistakes and error for which we are looking forward for your kindness. I like to convey my gratefulness and thanks to those people includes development consultant, staff members, well wishers so on who are involved to bringing out the Program Report for the first time for Sabuj Bangla Unnayan Sangstha (SBUS).With the objective to transfer human being into human resources, SBUS has established during 1998 facing different types of ups and downs. During 2000 it has registered with the Social Welfare Department of Bangladesh government as a local voluntary development club. Gradually it has been reformed as NGO in course of time as well as in course of demand local people crossing various obstacle and social struggle. The reflection of changing as NGO during April 17, 2005 by confirming SBUS as implementation organization of Ananda School under Primary

    Professor Tapash Dev

    Mailing address
    Professor Tapash Dev
    Hirokpara, Gobindagonj, Gaibandha
    Mobile: 01813639267

    1. Permanent Address : Vill:, P.O., Gobindagonj PS: Gobindagonj
    Dist: Gaibandha

    2. Present Office Address : Vill:, P.O., Gobindagonj PS: Gobindagonj
    Dist: Gaibandha

    3. Age : Forty EightYears (Date of Birth 14.06.1965)

    4. Work Experiences : 26 Years

    5. Academic Qualifications : M.S.S Sociology
    University of Rajshahi, 1987. Bangladesh.

    B.A (Hons), Sociology
    University of Rajshahi, 1986. Bangladesh.

    6. Specialisation as a career researcher, trainer, teacher and development practitioner : Social Mobilization and Motivation, Public Relations, NGO Activities and Community Mobilization, Community Awareness, Development Administration with specialization in Social services Planning and Management, research and study, Leadership Management, Entrepreneurship Management,

    Teaching career began in 1991 as Principal at Sohorgasi Adarsha Mohila College, Gobindagonj, and Gaibandha and from 1994 Lecturer in a non-government College, Mohimagonj, and Gobindagonj Gaibandha. As trainer and resource persons in various formal and non-formal training, workshop, seminar and symposium. Preaching and teaching to Development Activists ranging from illiterate villager, local govt leader, NGO worker and grass root level beneficiary to high level development professionals.

    As an development activist, most of the contributions were made in the in broader field of NGOs development, Institutionalization of community participation, poverty alleviation, grassroots level groups, Organizing development activities, coordination of GO and NGO activities, capacity development of public sector agencies in designing and implementing community level projects.

    7. Current Assignment (January 2008 onward). : • Advisor, Economic Empowerment and capacity building for the grassroots level organizations especially for HAPSO and Sucker Nir Bangladesh
    • Executive Director of Sobuj Bangla Unnayan Sangstha (SBUS) from August, 2001 to till now.

    8. Linkage at National and International Level
    : • Linkage with DFID, USAID, Feed the Minds, Ifad, Unicef, Action Aid, , WHO ,OXFAM-GB ,Save the Children USA for information and concept exchange and research study
    • Linkage with Hunger Project, ECDRC, Ghat, Consumers Association of Bangladesh (CAB), Poribesh Andolon, Sisu Konna Advocacy Forum, Jatio Prothibondhi Forum etc


    Sociologist and Institutional Expert:
    : Providing all sorts of technical assistance regarding social and institutional aspects of a development sector project being implemented in several districts of Bangladesh. Research, evaluation, planning and organizing training courses, organizing publicity liaison among LGIs, local administration and NGOs, conflict mitigation and public relations are also some of the key responsibilities associated with the position.

    8.2 Lecturer, Mohimagonj Degree College, Gobindagonj, Gaibandha
    Department of Sociology from 1994-2008 Course teacher of the courses such as, marriage and family, race, kingship, institution, social structure, social stratification, social problems constitution and administrative law, local Government structure, Rural Development and Poverty Alleviation, Public and Private Sector Development Administration and Planning and Management of Social mobilization/Services.

    8.3 Principal, Sohorgasi Adarsa Mohila College respectively from 1991-1994 at Gobindagonj, Gaibandha : College establishment, Girls rights by opening the opportunity for the backward women, college administration, social structure, constitution and administrative law, local Government structure, Rural Development and Poverty Alleviation, and Management of Social mobilization/Services.


    Sociologist, Advisory Technical Assistance to Grassroots level organization As Executive Director
    Initiate Family and Early Childhood Development at the roots level, piloting people’s capacity building tools as BCC change, improved way of attitude and characterize to contribute the country as social human being, assisted staff for enhancing capacity building, leadership skill development through providing actual and appropriate instruction and suggestion. Assisted local government, public-private partnership management, networking and linkage with national and international level donor and service oriented organization.

    As Adviser and Resource Person
    Provide need based and right based advisory tool and tips to the Executive Bodies of various development oriented non-government organizations irrespective to policy and administration development as well as to resource mobilization through fund raising mechanism. Besides, participated in numerous governments and non-government organizational training, seminar, orientation, dialogue and symposium.

    As Social Researcher
    Hands on experience in conducting research study on different social contradictive phenomenon especially on family development through early childhood development, behavioral change communication and counselling and monitoring, Published several publications on fundamental rights including health, education, socialization process.

    As Editor and Reporter
    Worked as reporter at Juger Alo, published at Rangpur during 1990, Dainik Uttaranchal Bogra during 1994, Dainik Ajker Kagoj, Dhaka since 1995 to till now. Brought out education newsletter namely College Bichitra and Digitalar Bijoy as Chief Editor. Wrote several articles and research study through reporting and media.

    9. Involvement with Different Organizations as Activist

    Gobindagonj Artha Samajik Unnayan Parishad, Gobindagonj, Gaibandha

    Gobindagonj Consumers Association of Bangladesh KAB, Gobindagonj, Gaibandha

    Gobindagonj Sangbadik Parishad, Gobindagonj, Gaibandha

    Advisor – HAPSO and Shaker Nir

    Secretary, Citizen for Good Governance (SUJAN), Gobindagonj, Gaibandha

    Secretary, Gobindagonj Press Club, Gobindagonj, Gaibandha

    Gobindagonj NGO Frurum, Gobindagonj, Gaibandha

    10. Publications

    • Awareness -1
    • Awareness -2
    • Maa, Mati. Manus and Jonmovumi

    11. Interest
     Poverty Alleviation
     Disability Development
     Campaign to stop Violence Against Women

    (Professor Tapash Dev)
    Executive Director
    Hirokpara, Gobindagonj,
    Mobile: 01813639267

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